January 19, 2011


Mat, age 9
San Leandro, California (1985)

I'm 9 in this picture at my elementary school Halloween party. I loved Star Wars and just knew I could make it more fabulous! The funniest part of this picture is the clown next to me. I wish you could see the look on his face!

I sure loved Star Wars, but more than that, I loved Harrison Ford!

I should have known back then I would have daddy issues...

I remember feeling different at this age, but I just didn't know what it meant to be gay yet.

That started happening around 13, when I asked to go to see a musical for my birthday. In San Francisco!

Classmates making fun of me pretty much kept me from ever sharing such info again. But 3 years later, I did have my pre-coming out party in choir!

Overall, I suffered through some rough stuff at times.

But as they say these days:

It gets better!

Mat's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Harrison Ford ("Indiana Jones")
Oh man - that leather jacket and that bull whip?! 
Still gets me going to this day!

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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