January 19, 2011


Sean, age 7
Madison, CT (1994)

I can't quite remember when this photo was taken. I did theater as a child (and still do), so it could have been a head shot for a local play or just evidence of my complete inability - even at the age of 7 - to pass up an opportunity to be in front of a camera and pretend to be famous.

"Drama Queen from the start"
I never really felt "different" in the way that so many other gay guys I know felt growing up. I guess I was just completely oblivious to the fact that there was something different about wanting to play with my cousin's "Bawbies" and dress up in their Snow White costumes. Or demand my preschool re-create the opening number from Beauty & The Beast with myself as Belle (naturally).

I suppose growing up in a loving family and in the theater really sheltered me from any feelings about being different, or the need to conform to what other boys did. Which of course made me woefully unprepared for middle and high school, and definitely impeded my ability to embrace who I was and to come out.

The first thought I have looking at this photo is that I wish to God my hair was still that color. Mostly it just makes me laugh seeing how far I've come in my growth and development in the past 16 years. But also how little I've changed from who that kid in the picture was.

Sean's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Leonardo DiCaprio (in "Titanic")

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