Dennis

Dennis, age 7

Manila, Philipines (1978)

Mabuhay! I'm Dennis from the Philippines. I really like your blog, because it's so inspiring and uplifting. Recently, I created my own album of gay baby pictures on Facebook for my friends. But here, I wanted to add some more Asian flavor to your wonderful galleries.

This was shot during playtime/dragtime, with my female cousins and my brother. Look closely, and you'll see my heavy make-up - LOL!

Based on my pose, you can really and truly say that I was born with a "Type G" blood - GAY. But as a young child, I didn't know I was gay.

My parents were always very supportive, and didn't have negative reactions regarding my behavior.

Although, when I asked for a doll, they gave me a Humpty Dumpty stuffed toy instead.

I loved watching "Charlie's Angels," "Wonder Woman," and "Knots Landing" with my family. Being different wasn't an issue, but I grew up with an older brother, and attended an all-boys Catholic school.

Yes, I played basketball and other rough boys' games. But when I reached my teen years, this picture played a very important role in my life. When I saw it again about 6 years ago, a realization or confirmation happened.

The pose, the clothes, and specially the pout, reminded me that I was born gay. Then, this teen became a queen, and I lived happily ever after.

Thank you for your blog. And thank you, God - because I was born this way.
"We are the future, seeing the beginnings of another stage of human evolution."
- a quote from "X-Men"

Dennis' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Scott Baio (in "Zapped")

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David & Dean

David, age 7

Dean, age 9

Sterling Heights, MI (1976)

Which two of these three brothers grew up to be gay? That's me David (left), with the hoop earrings. Even though it appears otherwise, my brother Dean (right) and I never knew the other was gay. Not until we were both adults who had moved out of the house. We weren't particularly close growing up, and are not as adults. So it was kind of a surprise to find out that we were both gay.

What I find most revealing about this pic is, despite the woman's clothes, there is already a consciousness on my part to "butch it up" for the camera.

By age 7,  I had already been told several times that I "write like a girl" and was asked on a few occasions whether I was "a boy or a girl".

These accusations and inquiries secretly bothered me.


It taught me early on that I needed to keep my feminine side in check. It's funny now that this thinking reveals itself, even dressed as a gypsy-girl for Halloween.

Ah, the innocence of youth.

Looking back, I definitely had same-sex attractions growing up, but I always rationalized them as "envy". I guess I certainly "envied" some hot looking guys.

Being gay was never a choice I made. Being gay was a growth of self knowledge, and an acceptance of the fact that I was "Born This Way".
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Parker

Parker, age 5

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (1994)

Nothing was more exhilarating than whirling and twirling in my mother's dresses. Here, I am wearing my favorite of hers. It was lightweight, covered in beautiful roses, and just sheer enough to feed my need to walk on the wild side.

How my mother was surprised when my infatuation with boys came out in the open, I haven't the slightest idea.

I think a lot of people that have struggled with being different wish their family would have walked them through the awkward glances, and the general lack of comfort that comes with growing up that way.

Even so, I could never blame my family for being just as confused as I was, at the time.

I remember feeling a little fancier than other boys my age.

My concerns, were different from their concerns:


Why would my cousin let her dolls have such ratty hair?
If I couldn't have a purse, where was I supposed to put my things?
Why didn't the Pink and the Red Power Rangers ever get together?

I mean, they were both hot. It made sense.

My VHS copy of "The Wizard of Oz" played a key role in my youth. The concept of some small town, decently pretty kid, being swept off to a far away land - only to be truly wanted, occasionally envied, befriended by eccentrics, and come home at the end of the day having learned all of life's lessons - was the most perfect scenario I'd ever heard of.

Pop culture was my first addiction, though. Late at night, in music videos, I'd catch glimpses of myself in people who seemed unimaginably confident and beautiful. That's all I've ever wanted to be.

Since those days of twirling and brushing doll hair, I've found my beauty and comfort in creativity. I'm a stylist at the most rock 'n roll hair salon in Oklahoma. I'm also a musician, I'm an artist, I'm still fancy, and I'm still learning.

I'm learning that it does get better. Exceptionally better.

Parker's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Fred Savage (in "The Wonder Years")

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Joe

Joe, age 3

Kent, WA (1983)

I love that I had a fashion sense early on. I knew at this age that I would always looks good in red, and the matching rainbow boots were to die for. Also, check out that pose. I was hot and I knew it! The fabric was scraps left over from a dress that my mother had made herself, and I thought that it would be fun to imitate her and make a dress of my own.

I always knew that I was different, as I was more interested in playing with the girls in my neighborhood then the boys.

They were fascinated with football and playing army, and I wanted to play house, dress up, Barbie, and My Little Pony. And I had a whole herd of my own dolls.

I was also into shows like He-Man and She-Ra, the former because of the hot bod and the latter because she was a kick-ass type of gal.

I also loved Jem & The Holograms, Smurfs, Pound Puppies, and Rainbow Brite. Which I confess,
I still watch now in my 30's.

My parents were always good about letting me be me, and expressing myself the way I wanted to.

Some parents of friends, however, banned me from their house for playing with Barbies. 

Coming out was not difficult for me, and my relationship with my parents is wonderful. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel that I have been lucky, in that being gay has not been discouraged by those that I consider important in my life.

And I would like to say to all of the gay youth out there:
Being who you are is the greatest thing you can do.
Don’t let anyone discourage you.

Joe's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Joey McIntyre (New Kids on the Block)

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Chuck

Chuck, age 3

Portage, IN (1981)

I always preferred to play with the girls in the neighborhood. And had crushes on the boys in the neighborhood, unbeknownst to them.

When my family had gatherings at major holidays, I always wanted to sit in the kitchen with the women, instead of out in the living room watching football with the guys.

My favorite Care Bear was "Cheer Bear" - the pink one with the rainbow on its belly.

I wanted to be (and was!) Wonder Woman for Halloween one year.

I didn't realize it then, but I think about it all now and can't help but laugh.

I also say to myself:
Anybody who thinks I wasn’t born this way, clearly hasn’t done their homework. ;)

Chuck's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Danny Pintauro (Jonathan on "Who's The Boss")

Even then I had good gaydar!

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David

David, age 11

Hudson Valley, New York (1977)

This photo was snapped during my 5th grade commencement ceremony. That snazzy jacket was my favorite, because it was reversible. The duality fascinated me. Navigating my way through the subsequent school years as a closeted gay boy taught me a lot about my own duality.

Growing up in Upstate NY, I didn't have any gay role models. Those who were perceived to be gay were mocked or whispered about behind closed doors.

I immersed myself in every school activity imaginable and cultivated a large group of friends.

If I befriended someone, they'd be less likely to tease me or acknowledge what I already knew:
That I was gay.

Looking back, I think I was subconsciously trying to protect myself.

In my younger years, I oscillated between boyish and not-so-boyish stuff. I was obsessed with Tonka trucks and fire engines, watched "Popeye" religiously, and loved climbing trees.

However, I was equally obsessed with my grandmother's white high heels,
"I Dream of Jeannie," "That Girl" and "Bewitched" on TV. I would often perform the theme song to each show when it aired.

One afternoon, at the age of 4, I was mortified when my cousin burst the door open to my grandparents' bedroom, and discovered me watching "Bewitched" - while sitting sidesaddle on a broom, wearing my grandmother's heels. I carefully placed a long towel over my head to simulate Elizabeth Montgomery's hair.

He laughed, asking "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I turned to him, sitting on my broom, and said, "I’m Bewitched." It was probably my first coming out moment.

After college, I packed my car and moved to Los Angeles. I officially came out at the age of 24. I made that decision on a Friday night, while dancing under the glittering disco ball at the Catch One nightclub.

To all of the gay kids who may be struggling today:

Someone once asked me: "If you could wave a magic wand and become straight, would you?" I instantly replied "No." Despite some difficulties, it's been a rich and rewarding and fun life so far. And it really does get better!

David's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Robbie Benson (in "Ode To Billy Joe")

It's so sad, but I also STILL remember his underwear scene in "Ice Castles" too

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Joshua

Joshua, age 7

San Diego, California (1991)

This picture says a mouthful of words to me. I remember growing up, I always felt different. At first I thought it was just because I was an entertainer. I was the kid always hosting the family parties and putting on a show.

When I got older I realized that I didn't really have many male friends, and I always wanted to be the Pink Power Ranger - LOL!

I didn't have a gender-identity issue, I just knew I was a bit more "girly".

Then I saw George Michael's "Faith" video on VH1 before school one day, and it all made sense. That cowboy boot upon the jukebox drove me insane!

George made me all tingly inside, and those swaying hips made me swoon. Oh, how I just wanted to run my young fingertips through that greasy hair!

It all makes sense that I was born this way. And helped form the me of today:
International Drag Superstar, Rhea Litre'

Joshua's first, famous-person same sex crush:

George Michael

___________________________________________________
 
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Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Derek

Derek, age 7

Provo, Utah (1985)

Growing up, we spent every July 4th at my grandparents' house, where we'd watch BYU's Stadium Of Fire fireworks show on the front lawn. Sharlene Wells (a Utahan) had won the 1985 Miss America pageant and was a guest star at the show, and this was my tribute to her. I thought my family might get bored waiting for the show, so my solution was to bring Sharlene Wells to them. I can still remember watching her win the crown on TV, and wanting to be classy like her. I didn't know that someone so poised and perfect could be from Utah.

"Eat your heart out, Sharlene!"

I had the best Barbie collection on my street and was given a Cabbage Patch doll, named Richard, during the height of their popularity.

My Janet Jackson posters, karaoke machine, and Madonna tapes were my prized possessions growing up.

I was never ashamed for liking these things that other boys weren't playing with. To me, these things were perfectly normal.

I don't remember realizing that I was gay until much later, and I was never really taught what gay was.

Once I was older in the Mormon church, and due to my peers using "gay" as a derogatory term, I learned it was something that was different. Something that society didn't accept.

That was the first time I felt different.

I hid in the church as long as I could, before realizing that the self denial and suppression it expected from me was unfair, since this was who I was and this was how I was born. I didn't come out to myself until I was 20, and to my family a couple years after that.

I have the most amazing parents, who taught us kids to always be ourselves and to love unconditionally. They taught us to not put labels on people. They have embraced each of their children individually, and love us for exactly who we are.

My message and advice to gay kids out there is: You are heroes.

You won't know it until later, but you are heroes. By being yourself, you are changing this world for good and are instrumental in spreading love and equality awareness. If you feel alone, please reach out to one of the amazing organizations that are out there, and surround yourself with people who make the foundation you stand on even stronger.

Derek's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Pierce Brosnan (in "Remington Steele")

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Lewis

Lewis, age 10

Marl, Germany (1977)

I went to school in the 4th grade, dressed for what we call in Germany Fasching - our colorful and fun Carnival. I was in love with that silly, curly, big platinum white wig at the local trinket store. I used to walk by it every day after school and stare at it, and eventually bought it with my birthday money. The rest of the outfit I borrowed from mom. I remember I loved my painted nails – and look at how delicately I hold that corn on the cob.

Little did I realize, that years later I would fall in love with a woman named Dolly Parton. And I'm sure I would have stuffed my bra to complete the look, too.

In Germany, I was just an odd kid. There was a time they would tease me by calling me "Louise" but it faded quickly, and it didn't play much into our friendships. I always played with boys and girls, even during puberty.

But it was my own sense of worth I struggled with, more a result of our broken family dynamic than the other kids around me. Much of Europe treats sexuality as a part of life, and it's not demonized in the way America struggles with it.

Moving to the US during high school changed everything. American high school was aggressive. The kids made sure you knew there was something wrong with you, and then you try and change to fit in. Like carrying your books the right way down the hall. Until one day you wake up and realize:

'Maybe I was born this way. Maybe it is how I am meant to be.
Maybe I’m fine just the way I am.'

I read a quote recently by Dr. Mae Jemison that sums up how I feel these days:
"The best way to make dreams come true is ‘to wake up’. Don’t let others define you or limit where your imagination can take you."

So go paint your nails, little boys - because you have galaxies at your fingertips!

Lewis' first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Travolta
In his tight, little black underwear, combing his hair in 'Saturday Night Fever'
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Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Jason

Jason, age 11

Saint Paul, Minnesota (1984)

When I look at this picture, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Laugh for the young, spirited grade school kid that found tremendous joy in wearing his Granny’s wigs. Or, cry for the young kid who grew up with little joy in his spirit.

I always knew I was "different" but was never able to make the connection as to what that difference was. Everyone else apparently knew; I heard it in the halls, the schoolyard, and in the lunchroom.

From grade school on into high school,
it was the same four perjoratives: "girl," "sissy," "wuss" - and the dreaded "F" word. Eventually, that's what "different" meant to me.   

I always made promises to myself:
If I could just have more boys as friends, then I wouldn’t feel different. If I could just stop wearing Granny’s wigs, then I wouldn’t feel different. If I could just hold my breath underwater for 20 minutes, then I wouldn’t feel different.

But I didn’t, I wouldn’t, and I still can't. Yet somehow, sometimes even still to my amazement, I carried on, knowing that someday I'd redefine my "different."

And eventually, after finally coming out, I did. My adult life as a gay individual has been filled with awakenings and wonderment. Friendship and merriment. "Different" has now translated to "special" and "unique." "Different" now means "fascinating" and "exceptional." And my spirit is filled with joy beyond measure.
I can’t imagine my life any other way.

I wish I could go back, if only for a moment, and reach out to the young version of myself. To tell him things will turn out just fine. That his sadness will be replaced with blessings exceeding his wildest dreams. That "different" was just a nine letter word that set him apart from others. That the only thing "different" now - is the difference he’ll make in other people's lives.

And more importantly, that his wigs will eventually get much more fabulous.

My message to any youngster that feels "different" is simple:
You will survive. You will rise above. You will be fantastic.

And you will redefine your "different" too!
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Mike

Mike, age 5

Pendleton, Indiana (1977)

Don’t be fooled by the masculine blue pajamas I'm wearing. This photo takes place before I'd started dressing up in my mom's old nightgowns, a wig, and costume jewelry. Me and my little sister (pictured here) would both get diva’d up and prance around the house, lip-synching to Marie Osmond and The Mandrell Sisters. Or pretend we were the oil baroness wives from Dallas.

I always liked to play Sue Ellen Ewing, because she was so deliciously mean.
And drunk...

"Wishing Luke Skywalker would use the Force on me."

Our neighbor Cindy would come over and the three of us would create elaborate dramas, with each of our characters a beautiful runway model.

I always wanted to play an aging star who was losing her beauty, but determined to do so with grace and attitude.

Even at an early age, I knew that milking a situation for all its turmoil was, in a word, tragifabulous.

And yet, I first knew
I was gay around age 5.


I was in love with Mark Hamill and wanted to be Luke Skywalker. But more importantly, I wanted to touch his perfectly tanned chest. The way his desert poncho allowed just the slightest glimpse of his collarbone and pec muscles did something to me that I couldn't explain.

All I knew was that whenever my sister would leave her Princess Leia doll unattended, I'd force Luke and Leia to do some serious heavy petting - even though I didn’t understand it.

Growing up gay in the Midwest in the 70's might not have been ideal, but my family was supportive and allowed me to be me. Their mantras were:
'We’re not everybody else' and 'It doesn’t matter what other people think.'

And what can you say about a mother who sews her son a Wonder Woman costume from scratch, and lets him wear it to his Kindergarten Halloween party?
I would say, that's the definition of love.

Mike's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Mark Hamill (in "Star Wars") & Donnie Osmond
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Ben

Ben, age 6

Dallas, Texas (1984)

This picture still cracks me up! I mean, look at me: the posing, the tutu, the Bronco's t-shirt (???), the bow in my hair, mom's heels, and a cocked leg!

I wonder what my sister, Erin (background) thought when she saw me? I also wonder who took this picture? My Mom or Dad?!

My parents said they always knew - hmm, I wonder how! While I don't recall this particular dress-up, what stayed with me was what my Mom lived by and instilled in us:

She'd say, 'Let's put on a show!'

My mom (RIP) was a showy woman, and she liked prizes.

Today I'm a showy man, and I like prizes too. Coincidence?

And in one way or another, we have been playing dress up ever since. Luckily for me, my parents always accepted us just the way we are. They encouraged me to be and do whatever I wanted. Thankfully, I never wanted to be a ballet dancer or a football player, because I still can't dance or catch a ball.

I was probably about 10 when my attraction to men started to kick in. I knew I couldn't love Wonder Woman forever, so I switched gears to "Growing Pains."

I crushed on Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver) for when I wanted a cute friend to kiss, and Allen Thicke (the dad) for that sexy father figure role. Also, I loved Ricky Schroeder on "Silver Spoons." Sooo cute! And last, Jerry Sharell, as Mickey the bass player on Kids Incorporated!

Of course I also loved "My Little Pony," brushing out my sister's Barbies hair, and flipping through the International Male Catalog. What can ya do?

Who knew that I'd grow up wanting to be an ice skater, then a musical theater performer (who acts and sings, not dances), and who now manages a hair salon in Boston - that my husband owns?! That is pretty cool.

And anything is possible for anyone - even for a little gay boy from Texas.

Ben's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver on "Growing Pains")

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Rudy

Rudy, age 6

East Los Angeles, California (1986)

This was Halloween at my grandmother's house. My mother was a single parent who didn't have much money to buy a costume, so she borrowed a wig and dressed me up as my grandmother, lipstick and all! I felt so comfortable in the wig and pearls, and wanted to keep it on all night. Looking back, I know this was my way of expressing that "Star Quality" I've always felt inside.

"Little Latin Boy In Drag:
Rudy 'Rudeness' Garcia"

My family says they always knew I was "feminine" or "sensitive" - however I was never treated any differently than any of the other children in my family.

My mother took me to see a doctor because she was concerned that I preferred to play with Barbie dolls over GI Joe.

The doctor told her it was healthy, and it would help me express my creativity, and make me a good parent!

So I had lots of beautiful dolls to dress up and style and role-play with my sister!

But once I discovered MADONNA, it was all over for Barbie! I would watch her in awe, rolling around on the floor in tulle, posing for the camera, and singing and dancing with that one star earring!

Soon after, I did my first performance of "Dress You Up" for my teenaged aunts. They were amazed that I knew all the words and dance moves!

If I could say anything to gay youth now it would be this:
Don't ever believe that you CAN'T be who you are!

Find a place or thing that is all yours, and allow yourself to blossom into the beautiful butterfly you will become.

Rudy's first, famous-person same sex crush:

"Marky" Mark Wahlberg

I saw those Calvin Klein ads in his briefs, and thought 'That's what I want'

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Dawn

Dawn, age 3

Marshalltown, IA (1976)

It's weird how you can remember some things and not others as a small child.
I remember being dressed up like this by my teen-aged aunts, and I remember the dress was itchy. I didn't want it on, except for the beads. This is only one of 3 photos of me in a dress throughout my years, because it always felt like dress up.

I never knew what the word was for it, but around the age of 9,
I fell for a 19-year old college student at my church. And she was kind enough to hang out with me. She'd take me to grown-up places like auctions and furniture shopping, it was just about being included.

I didn't have other kids in the neighborhood where I lived near my age, so college students become my best friends, and she was my first crush.

It wasn't until age 16, and with a friend of mine, that I realized why I was having the crushes on girls.


We were walking around the mall and my friend pointed out a couple. She mentioned that the guy looked cute, but I was thinking to myself the whole time: 'Forget the guy, I’ll take the girl!' Then the skies parted and everything I felt since the time I was age 9, came flooding back. And like puzzle pieces, it all fit together.

It was then that I realized I had to hide this information from my family, as they were and still are, fundamental Christians. Sadly, this hiding set me back a few years concerning my own self worth. But thankfully, though my family didn’t accept my orientation, I eventually realized that God still did.

If there is one message I could have told myself when I was 18, before an attempted suicide, it would be that there are people out there that will love you for who you are. And God will ALWAYS love you, because God created you.

Eventually, you'll also find there are some family members that will love ALL of you, unconditionally!

Today, I still hold a torch for women older than me, and I've been in a 14-year relationship with a wonderful partner who is 25 years my senior. We learn quite a lot from each other, and I look forward to the next 14 years and beyond!

Dawn's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Joanna Kearns ("Growing Pains")

Lisa Bonet ("The Cosby Show")

Dana Delaney ("China Beach")

Dana looked like the woman I had the crush on at age 9!

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Johnny

Johnny, age 10

St. Clair Shores, Michigan (1989)

That's me on the left, as if you had to guess. For sure, my favorite memories from childhood are the times I spent at my Grandma's house. She was the most loving woman. She'd watch her soaps, read her Star Magazines, play cards with us, and let us run free and be kids. She had the softest flabby skin hanging under her biceps. You know, that amazing chubby grandma skin. So cozy.

"Taken in Grandma's kitchen"

While the other grandkids were in the basement rummaging through our Grandpa's tools and war stuff, I was upstairs drooling over nightgowns and jewelry. The phrase "in the closet" has real meaning to me and my gay discovery.

For you see, inside Grandma's closet, hung the threads to my sexuality.

I remember how her clothes smelled, and how the fabrics felt so soft and feminine. Her bras, slips, and perfume were heaven and happiness to me.
The first thing I'd do when dressing up was the old towel-head-wrap trick, as evidenced in the pic. I think I might even be wearing some lipstick and blush.

It'd give me instant long girl hair. It would constantly fall down as I was getting dressed, but I loved the hassle of putting it back up, and throwing it over my shoulders. I'd then pick out a nightgown as a dress, and sometimes belt it, or just let it flow. Then earrings, necklace, rings, and a handbag. And I loved going through her purses and finding candies, coupons, and Bingo blotters.

I'd even rock Grandma's chunky, sensible-heel slippers, so I could manage my way up and down the long hallway - aka my catwalk. There was a huge painting of the Blessed Mary at the end of the hallway. She was so bitchy and holy looking in the painting, so I'd use that as my motivation for my runway walk.

My Grandma was cool as hell. She'd just smile, kiss me on the cheek, and tell me how beautiful I looked, as she continued making me a sandwich: peanut butter, jelly, ham, and Miracle Whip on white bread. MY FAVORITE! She'd cut it in triangles for me. Small bites, like a lady should.

My Grandpa was cool about all this too, but I mostly avoided him while all dragged out in Grandma's pajamas. I LOVED those times I spent playing dress up. It was for sure my first taste of GAY, but definitely NOT my last.

I still love wrapping a towel around my head and pretending I have long hair, and realize the irony that my job in life now as an adult, is to play dress up with pop stars and actresses. Sort of perfect, actually.

I have an amazing family, amazing friends, and coming out was easier then I could have ever imagined. Not one person turned their back on me. Only open arms, and open closets. Ha ha!

And there ain't no shame in the gay game, y'all - we are all human. How boring would life be if we were all the same? So thanks Grandma, for letting me explore my sexuality in your closet. For it was there that I discovered a part of me that I could be proud enough to let the world see.

In your nightgown and heels, of course.

Johnny's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mark-Paul Gosselaar ("Saved By The Bell")

I'd dream of sleepovers and BJ's under that 80's, pop-art print comforter that graced my twin bed.
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Bernie

Bernie, age 4

Chicago, Illinois (1948)

One Halloween, our mother dressed up me and my brother Dennis (age 3, on the left) as Carmen Miranda. For those readers unfamiliar with Ms. Miranda, she was a popular Portuguese-born Brazilian singer, actress, and Hollywood film star in the 40's and 50's. She was particularly noted for her signature fruited turban, which my mother tried to emulate in the costumes we wore.

I think she did a pretty good job with my towering turban, long grass skirt, lei, and one of her clutch bags that I used for trick or treating. Most boys this young, of my era, dressed as cowboys or pirates, and I can't imagine that we asked to dress as Carmen Miranda. But we apparently cooperated - lipstick and rouge to boot! - and we look happy with the end result.

At an early age I shied away from competitive sports and much preferred solitary, creative activities like making plaster Disney characters, copper enameling, model kits, wood burning, reading and baking. While I loved making cakes when I was about 9 or 10, I somehow felt that it was an activity that should be kept confined to my immediate family.

I knew something else was going on when I read comics or magazines that had pictures of hunky guys in bathing suits. I would place the tip of my finger over the bathing suit and imagine that these guys were totally naked. I was also smitten with Buster Crabbe who played Flash Gordon in the 50's TV serials. He was later replaced in my heart by Tim Considine, Tommy Kirk, and the other teenage boys acting in film and TV at the time.

I went through grammar school without a girl friend, but in high school did the required amount of dating. On dates, I'd often find the waiter more attractive than the girl I was with. While he wasn't famous back then, Harry (Harrison) Ford lived in my neighborhood. He was in his "hood" phase at the time, and was often out strutting around dressed totally in black. And I thought he was quite sexy. Anyway, by my early 20's, I was going to the gay bars in Chicago.

Around that time, my brother came out to me, and it wasn't long after that our parents learned that they had two gay sons. After a bit of a rocky transition, our parents became very accepting of both of us.

I'm now a retired businessman living in suburban Chicago with my wonderful partner of almost 38 years. We will probably be "civil unionized" this summer, now that Illinois has passed a civil union law. We might also go to Iowa and get married, although we'd much prefer to do so in our own state. 

My brother Dennis, seen in the picture, had a wonderful life. But he was gone too soon, and cut down by AIDS at age 46 in 1993. I wrote a little speech for his memorial service, and in it I made reference to this picture, wondering out loud about my mother saying: 'What was she thinking?'  The audience, my mother and father included, couldn't help but laugh.

Nature versus nurture? I don't think my mother knew in 1948 what the future held for her sons, nor do I think our Carmen Miranda costumes made us gay. But it was still a momentous beginning, don't you think?

Bernie's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Tony Dow (Wally on "Leave It To Beaver")

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Uli

Uli, age 4

London, UK (1983)

I think my Grandmother took this photo, as it’s her high-heels I'm wearing - although I have no real memory of it being taken, or who the girl in the cart is. It's interesting that I’m outside in a public park, parading around in heels so unselfconsciously. I do have memories of scampering around in the bottom of her wardrobe closet. I would find some high-heels and totter around her bedroom, and she'd let me do it. And I remember it was the best fun ever.

My mother showed me this photo when I was 8, and I recall feeling ashamed of it, and thinking how terrible it would be if anyone from school saw it. I wanted the picture buried and kept secret, even if I didn’t understand exactly what it all meant then. So it feels really good to share it here now.

I also played with Barbie dolls at this time, and I loved them. My Mum would take me to a big department store and allow me to pick one that I liked for a special treat. I think it's great that she did that. That kind of story is echoed in a really sweet children's book called "William's Doll" by Charlotte Zolotow.

Playing with these dolls was wonderful, and my first crush was a Ken doll, with his intriguing anatomical protrusion. But it was also a source of unease for me, because I felt on some level, that playing with dolls was wrong.

Also in the pic, check out the length of my hair. I had bright, almost white blond hair as a boy, and with aging hippie parents, they generally kept it long.
I remember women would comment to my Mother that I looked like a girl.

Eventually mum grew concerned with what other people were saying, and took me to the hairdresser to get all my golden locks cut off. Afterward, I remember sitting in front of the mirror at home and crying my heart out - and how she felt terrible. Then, in an effort to butch me up, she made me go to Karate lessons once a week, which I mostly hated. Except that it gave me the chance to hang out with all the class girls during breaks. Where there's a will, there's a way...

In hindsight, I think mum was just trying to prepare me for the real world, to ensure that I had the physical strength to bolster my emotional sensitivity.
And I know that impulse came from her love.

I now work as assistant manager at Gay's The Word – the UK's independent and comprehensive LGBT bookshop. Despite my job, I still think I’m somewhat of a hung-up homo. I've never dragged-up for example, and tend to act in a pretty masculine fashion. And honestly, I can be quite self-conscious about this.

So finding this photo again as a 31 year old has been really good for me.

I'm really proud of that little boy that I used to be, walking around the park in high-heels. And I think I’m going to take a page out of his book from now on, relax, and just be myself.
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Ben

Ben, age 2

Bristol, England (1974)

I was barely able to dress myself when I came across this fairy dress in my godparents' daughter's dressing up box. I'd toddled off on my own while everyone else chatted over a lazy lunch, came back into the room wearing it, and refused to take it off. I remember just loving the colors and how lightweight it was, even though it was the biggest thing I’d ever worn.

Everyone thought it was hilarious, but I remember the laughter being warm and friendly. If only they knew! I love this picture, as it shows me able to go off and explore on my own, and come back to face the world as I really am. I'm still a rebel at heart, and still love fancy dress!

I knew I was gay from about 7 years old, although no one else ever knew until I was 16, and started to date girls. Instinct helped me to come out to those who would be kind and unchallenging towards me, and one by one I did that during High School.

Then, before University, I left to teach in a remote Pakistani village for one year. Selfishly and cowardly, I thought and hoped that my wider 'coming out' might happen that year without me, as if by some bizarre process of remote osmosis. But like many others, I had to do it the painful and brave way.

There followed the usual denial, tears, soul searching and heartache against a backdrop of the UK government's terrifying 'Don’t Die Of Ignorance' anti-AIDS campaign. Everyone seemed to think I’d be dead within a year!

I’m 36 now - healthy and happily married to a gorgeous, strong, and sensitive man. And I'm very grateful for the relative freedoms of the times we live in, especially in the UK. I also have a supportive and loving family.

But there is still so much injustice in the world, and I’m saddened to think that others suffer pain because of love. What a terrible paradox. But there’s no real compromise.

Love has to be worth fighting for, and that is my message for kids facing the turmoil of coming out and falling in love for the first time.

Ben's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Harrison Ford (in "Raiders Of The Lost Ark")

I tell people I was inspired to study Arabic because of "Lawrence of Arabia",
but Indiana Jones was the real reason!
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Ralph

Ralph, age 11

Quito, Ecuador (1966)

I love this picture. I was happy back then as I am now, 44 years later. I've been with my husband since 1989, and he mentioned the pic when we saw this blog.

Now, about the pic:

I'd been trying to tell my mom about a coquettish woman I'd seen at the pool we used to go to.

I couldn't describe her, so I said:
'Here, I'll show you.'

I undressed down to my undies, wrapped a towel around my chest, and put my Boy Scout scarf over my head. I pranced around the room until my dad, who was laughing out loud, took the picture.

My earliest recollection of crushes on celebrities were Sebastian Cabot & Edward Mulhare - as Capt. Daniel Gregg in "The Ghost & Mrs. Muir."

As a kid, I loved watching TV shows like "Family Affair" and "Leave It To Beaver" and I've always had a thing for hirsute men. My husband is a bear!

I knew I was different at about age 14. I could not name exactly what it was, but my classmates picked up on it, and I was teased and bullied a lot. Sometimes painfully so. I did not truly come out until I was 21.

The one thing I would like to tell young gay people is:
Embrace and own your uniqueness!

Ralph's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Sebastian Cabot (Mr. French on "Family Affair")

Jeffrey

Jeffrey, age 4

New Bedford,  Massachusetts (1963)

We were in a military family that moved quite often, and what I mainly remember about this picture is, my father being uncomfortable, and hurrying up the  process.

I first knew I was gay by around 6th grade. I remember crushing on Flipper's dad and Adam West as Batman.

And I loved TV dance shows like American Bandstand, Soul Train, and Lawrence Welk - ooh, Cissy and Bobby!

I love this picture now and use it for my Facebook profile at times.

Jeffrey's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Brian Kelly (the dad on "Flipper")
______________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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