Ed

Ed, age 8

Scranton, PA (1963)

When my mother died recently, I found this photo of me. Simply ravishing, if
I do say so myself. I love how this picture reminds me of being free as a child.

I was an only child and learned early to entertain myself. While I was smart enough to read by age 3, I was also socially naive.

At this age, no one seemed to mind how I acted. Even my parents weren't concerned. In fact, my mother dressed me as Heidi for Halloween in 3rd grade!

Since I was very excited about cars too, I think they were calmer than if I had only played with dolls.

It was several more years before all the bullying and teasing began in junior high, and it was then that I figured out I was different than most of the other kids.

Thankfully, that's long behind me.

And now I have a wonderful partner and circle of friends.  It does get better!

Dexter

Dexter, age 6

Manila, Philippines (1984)

I knew I was "different" when I was 4-years old, and of course, I did not have the words to describe that part of me. And it was difficult for me to define myself because I - like most Filipinos - come from a conservative Catholic family.

I grew up listening to "The Wiz" and "Annie" soundtracks. And to Madonna, who I vogued to in private. TV, movies, and books were my only companions, as I did not have any friends.

I had a feeling then that Bert & Ernie from "Sesame Street" were more than roommates, and that the "Hardy Boys" were definitely having adventures together outdoors and indoors.

In my dreams, "Robocop" was my "roommate," and we weren't solving mysteries.

Looking at my childhood now that I am an adult, I was a very sad boy.

I handled the bullying by taking my mind away from reality. I spent my non-school days locked in the house, and not wanting to interact with anyone.

But everything is different now: I am living with my partner, I am extremely happy, and I do not have to escape to feel that happiness.

Now, the two of us listen to my Madonna and Abba (his favorite) records together, and we spend the weekends having South Australian adventures.

And yes: we have our adventures both outdoors and indoors.
____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

Gabi

Gabi, age 7
Lido di Jesolo, Italy (1973)

I'm on a vacation here, riding a kid's motorbike on a little racetrack at a fun fair. Every night I begged my mom for money to go another round. I grew up in a small town in the center of Germany. I always liked skating, biking, or building igloos in winter, more than playing with dolls, dressing up, or playing hopscotch.

The first crush I had was on a woman, and early on I was fascinated by lesbian love. I had gay and lesbian friends, yet I was always dating men. In my mid-20s I had my first one-night stand with a woman.

Although this was a fascinating experience for me, I only really quit trying to be straight in my mid-40s. My coming-out to my friends, colleagues, and family members was in 2009, after I had fallen in love with a woman. We had met during my visit of a mutual friend in the USA and fell in love almost instantly.

We continued our 17-hour-one-way long-distance relationship for almost a year, seeing each other only every couple of months. I split up with my then-boyfriend a few weeks after I returned home. I came out in a long e-mail, to about 70 people, including my boss. The response was overwhelmingly positive.

We got married in April 2010. She moved across the Atlantic last September, and we now live in the Netherlands, where gay people have identical rights as straight people. Even though we married in Iowa, I couldn't apply for family-based immigration, because Federal US immigration law doesn't acknowledge us as a family (Defense of Marriage Act). Therefore, she gave up her home and moved her cats and herself here. She is now learning Dutch and trying to find a job.

What I would like to tell every kid, whether they feel they are gay or not, is that it's important to find out who you are and what you want. You only have one life.

Be who you are. Everything else will eventually follow.

Steve

Steve, age 11

Victoria, BC, Canada (1974)

This picture shows me with my mother, in all our mid-70's sartorial splendor. From a very early age, there was always something "different" about me.

When playing games with other kids, I was usually given some type of female role.

If we played "Mission: Impossible," I was cast as Cinnamon Carter.

It was never forced upon me, or something pejorative, but rather a natural fit.

Years later, I got to meet Barbara Bain, the actress who portrayed Cinnamon, and I told her "You know, I used to play you" - and she roared with laughter.
_____________________________________________________

Brittany

Brittany, age 5

Galesburg, IL (1992)

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be just like my dad. In this picture, as you can see, I'm wearing a tank like him and posing like him. And look at those guns! He has always been my hero, above all others.

I knew on some level I had a crush on my kindergarten teacher, which was around this time in my life.

I also was beating all the boys at sports and things we did on the playground.

I loved playing with dad's old G.I. Joe figures, and shooting my toy bow and arrow in the basement

I wanted to be Robin Hood.

Although, I didn't fully admit that I'm a lesbian until I was 17.



But once I came out, I looked back and realized SO many instances over the years that made me slap my forehead and think: How could I NOT have known?

When I came out to my parents, they were devastated, as they are very religious. My dad said that somehow he wasn't surprised, and had seen this coming.
It killed me to disappoint him. All I had ever wanted was to impress him and be strong, just like him.

My parents are not in my life now, but I can honestly say that though I miss them terribly and wish things were different, I am so glad that I figured out who I really am.

I have felt more freedom and learned more about myself and the world since
I came out, than I ever thought I could. I know that a lot of why I have made it out on my own is how strong my dad raised me to be, and I am proud to be his daughter every day.

Not everyone understands us, or why we are the way we are, but that's okay - they don't have to. We all have to make our own way, and as long as you are happy with your life and the decisions you have made, that is what really matters.

Guy

Guy, age 8

Seattle, Washington (1970)

Here I am, ready to spring into action to deliver Easter treats! I was really channeling the Easter Bunny: note the way I'm holding my hands to simulate paws. Of course, I hopped around as much as possible when in this costume. Walking was so banal and just not the Easter Bunny way.

I was also probably inspired by Bobby Van, and his hopping number from the film "Small Town Girl." Stereotypically, I have enjoyed musicals from an early age.

It's a family trait.

Proto-gay that I was, I loved the crafty and decorative aspects of Easter.

One year, I made little Easter baskets for my family. I filled them with candy and placed them outside my siblings' bedrooms very early on Easter morning. As if the Easter Bunny was some kind of springtime surrogate for Santa Claus.

I think costumes and masks have been important to a lot of gay kids, long before they knew they were gay. They provided the opportunity to take on other personalities.

Paradoxically, we were more ourselves in costumes and masks.


Dressing up, it's as though we could take on our true personalities using the pretense of those costumes, and the creative freedom they provided.

While I didn't know I was gay at this tender age, I knew I wasn't like most of my contemporaries. Despite that, I didn't have a particularly difficult childhood. I was fortunate to have 7 older siblings who came of age during the various social revolutions of the 60's and 70's.

They weren't wildly non-conformist, but they weren't conformist either. And they suggested the possibility of independent thought and becoming whoever I wanted to be. I was also lucky to grow up in a home where education was highly valued.

We were raised Catholic, but were encouraged to read and to explore a broader world of ideas. This provided so many options.

I can't remember any same sex crushes from that era. I'm sure I had them, but
I was fickle too - moving on from one to the next like, well, the Easter Bunny.
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Tweet

Lulu

Lulu, age 5

Victoria, BC, Canada (1965)

That's me, the little boy - oops, grrrl - on the left with my brother and sister.

At some point, my mother gave up trying to dress me like a proper little girl for everyday wear. But then school came and spoiled all that.

I would tear my dress off the minute I got through the door at home, leaving a trail of clothes behind me.

I left elementary school as a happy heterosexual, and went that way through high school. And, on to a marriage and having my own daughter.

But today, I'm the happy little lesbian I feel I was born to be. Thankfully, these days, there is more freedom to be a square peg that doesn't fit into a round hole...

Jamie

Jamie, age 11

Whitehall, Ohio (1977)

This picture shows one of my last years trick-or-treating in costume. And I have no idea what prompted me to dress in drag. As an adult, I have no affinity for that. But I look a LOT like my mother in that getup.

From the age of about 4,
I knew I was different.

I loved "Wonder Woman," "Charlie's Angels" and "Three's Company."And ABBA.

After quickly learning the word "sissy," I also learned that it was BAD, and that it somehow applied to me.

I did everything I could to "butch up" and tried to cast aside anything girly or frilly.

This was kind of okay, as I loved trucks and cars, too.

So it wasn't hard to fake it.

I was uncoordinated and hated sports, so it was a struggle to "keep it in the closet." Fortunately, my straight brother was as uncoordinated and as unconventional as I was.

My mom had sussed me out, but we never admitted it to each other until I was 30. I knew, however, I was gay by the time I was 14. And after having attributed my feelings to "envy" before that.

I found this picture embarrassing for years. But I like it now.

Jamie's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Lee Majors, Jameson Parker, & Parker Stevenson
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Tweet

Darryl

Darryl, age 5

Niagara Falls, New York (1991)

The person I am today, is the same person I've been my entire life. I've always had the same enthusiasm and energy for life since the beginning.

I was best friends with all of the girls, and I did all the things they did, like playing with Barbies.

I mean, Barbie is iconic! Hello!

I knew it wasn't the norm, but my parents always accepted it. I knew
I had their blessing, no matter what I chose to do with my free time.

I definitely got teased a lot. And while it sounds cliche', it DOES make you stronger. It really does.

I came out at 15-years old, and I'm now approaching my 10-year anniversary of being an out and proud homosexual male.

I can't believe it's been a decade!


I think the thing that gives me the greatest joy in my life, is that I am able to be 100% who I want to be. But also with the complete support and love of my family and friends. What more can one ask for?

I wish the same for anyone and everyone who has been in the same shoes as me. So just be yourself, as there's no one else quite like you! And embrace it!
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

Rebecca

Rebecca, age 12

Louisa, KY (1986)

This pic was shot right after I forced my mother to cut my hair short. She had made me have it very long all of my life, all the way down to my butt. And I hated it. I told her that if she didn't cut it for me, I would cut it myself - LOL!

I am the youngest of 4 girls, and as far as I know, the only one who is lesbian.
I had always been a tomboy, but this was about the age that I started noticing other girls.

At this age, my favorite shows were "GI Joe" and "He-Man." I got picked on in school, but not for being gay. No one knew I was gay, or even knows now.
I have not come out to my family yet, but a few of my close friends know.

My message to gay children is to know that a lot of people can be very intolerant.
No matter how good of a person you are, there will always be those who oppose you. But don't let it get to you. Stand strong, and be yourself!

Rebecca's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jennifer Connelly
_____________________________________________________

AJ

AJ, age 3

Honolulu, HI (1984)

The only vacation my family ever really went on, was this vacation to Hawaii when I was 3-years old.

This photo was taken by a family member, and supposedly my father was VERY angry that I had put the flowers behind my ears like this.

In recent years, my father has told me he knew I was gay when I was 2-years old. So at this point, he must have been upset that his suspicions might actually be true.

I, though, have always loved this photo. Just look at that mug!

My only wish is that I had given more FACE, instead of just going for the model pout. But c'est la vie.

Roger

Roger, age 11

Plettenberg Bay, South Africa (1966)

By the age of 5 I knew I was different. I grew up in a small coastal resort town, population then of about 1,200 people. Pop culture frightened me then, and
I switched off the radio when "modern music" was played.

One night, I'd wondered away from the colonial stone terrace, where the parents were being served drinks by the staff in their red-sashed, white uniforms.

Down a long grassed ceiling passage, through a bathroom doorway slightly ajar, I came across our hosts' son taking his early evening bath.

The reflection of candle light on the clear water in the white enamel bath, the fragrance of the grass roof, the shiny and smooth soap-scented muscled body, and the rough male kiss of fresh towels reverberated in the very depth of my being.

I was 21 when I told my parents I was gay. They asked, "What does that mean?" "Homosexual," I stammered. And it was left like that, and never spoken of again.

At 8-years old I fell in love with a nameless, dashing soldier dressed in full mess kit. His hand extended to a beautiful lady in a turquoise frilly ball gown, in an invitation to dance. He was on the cover of my first LP, and I played the Viennese waltzes over and over again, until I knew every note and was dancing with him.

Seeing this picture now, I feel stupid and camp. And quite frankly, ridiculous. However, I remember that back then, I was happy carefree and in love with life.
______________________________________________________

* ANDY BELL on "Born This Way Radio!" *

Hey everyone!

Be sure to stream & listen every Sunday night!

"BORN THIS WAY RADIO"
Sunday, April 10th
:: With Our Special Guests ::
ANDY BELL of Erasure & Justin Bond!

8pm till 10pm (PDT // LA, CA time)

Streaming live & worldwide! Click: JustinTV/Moheak

"Born This Way Radio" is a 2-hour program dedicated to LGBTQ listeners,

featuring open and honest discussions and chit-chat about our experiences,

LGBTQ related music, comedy, current events, and advice

Inspired by this blog, the show will encourage listener participation from

LGBTQ kids - and adults or parents - who might be struggling with issues of
coming out, bullying, or harassment. Or just a fun place to chat!

We'll be taking your phone calls live at (323) 664-3251,
and chatting via your postings on Twitter and on Facebook.

All in an environment where callers can feel safe, understood, and accepted.

And yes, entertained too! We also invite all our straight allies to listen as well!

CLICK: More info on the show on Facebook

CLICK: LIKE the "Born This Way Radio" page on Facebook

CLICK: Follow @BornThisWayLive on Twitter

CLICK: Download the FREE Moheak Radio Mobile App

______________________________________________

Podcast streams of past shows are here:

Direct link - Divshare.com/download/14541415-02e

Dean

Dean, age 8

Great Falls, South Carolina (1981)

My parents divorced when I was a baby, and my father disappeared completely from my life. Later, my mother married a man that didn't want me around, and so I fell into the care of my grandparents. Although they took care of my physical needs, my emotional needs went largely unmet. I was rarely touched or held, and often craved those physical expressions of affection.

Growing up gay in a small town in South Carolina was very hard, to say the least.

Looking back, I always knew that I was different. Unfortunately, my peers knew it too, and I had very few friends.

Being a loner, I had a vivid imagination and very active fantasy life. I developed a huge crush on Bo Duke on "Dukes of Hazzard."

I didn't know what it meant, but my heart skipped a beat every time he slide across the General Lee.

I often imagined Bo spending time with me, doing things that fathers and sons did together. Such as fishing, working on cars, or helping me with my homework.

I was often the target of both physical and verbal bullies, and found very little solace at home as well. Halloween was my favorite time of year because I got to dress up, and I could be somebody else. Because I didn't really want to be me.

As I grew up and learned to like myself, I actually became grateful to all those bullies. Because it was their abuse that made me the strong person I am today. And I developed a thick skin and sharp wit to combat their insults and injuries.

And the imagination that I developed to help me cope with life's stress, helped me to discover myself as an artist and a writer.

As much as it hurt at the time, I wouldn't change my childhood for anything in the world. All those experiences made me who I am today: A strong, gay man who likes himself and loves his life. What more could you ask for?

Dean's first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Schneider (on "Dukes of Hazzard")

_________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Tweet

DJ

DJ, age 3

Prince George, Canada (1978)

I have only a brief flash of memory of this photo, but I have a happy memory of it. I was the kid that moved a lot, and finally laid roots in Sussex, NB Canada till I was 16. I was also the kid that everyone picked on.

The "gay" taunts started in 3rd grade, and were constant. I had a rough life at home, and somehow survived the cruel hell of school kids' taunts, fights, and abuse at home.

I didn't know I was gay till about 12, and my first boy crush was at 14. He was the boy next door that was just out of reach.

I had very few real friends, most of which were girls, and was NOT the popular kid.

I remember my fascination with Madonna in 1990, as I was "voguing" along with her in the video. Ditto with Paula Abdul's "Cold Hearted" video.

Looking at this picture now, I think my smile is what got me through a lot of the hard times. I think being gay gives us a unique spirit, and it's a strong one.

If I had a message for those out there going through the rough times like I did,
I would have to say: It can't rain all the time.

If you stand up to be who you are, and don't give in to the hate, you will be the one driving the Mercedes. And those idiots that once taunted and hated you? They'll be washing it for you. I have seen it many times.

Karma has a funny way of dealing with those people. So just smile, and walk on.
There are better people out there for you.

After a lot of turmoil growing up gay in backwoods places, I am now in Calgary with my partner of 9 years. We are both out, and proud. I am living proof that "Fairy Tales" can come true. So hang in there, because it does happen.

DJ's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Will Wheaton (in "Star Trek: Next Generation")
River Phoenix & Donnie Wahlberg (New Kids On The Block)
Once a Trekkie, always a Trekkie...
____________________________________________________