January 15, 2011


Shanna, age 8
San Bernardino, CA (1988)

I was either dressed up for Church (creepy!) or a city-wide oratorical contest (geeky!).

Or did I wear a bow-tie to the contest?

A long and awkward attempt at hetero-conformity followed this freedom.

Then I realized I was a lesbian at 19 while at a conservative Christian college.

And I realized that I was butch a few years later.

Shanna's first, same sex crush:
My 1st grade teacher, a prim Lutheran with a practical grey/blonde bouffant.


M'liss said...

I went to a conservative Christian college in Oregon with a girl named Shanna who came out while we were there. I didn't know her very well - we shared a mailbox so our paths crossed, but we only spoke a handful of times. However, I have though often of Shanna since then. She challenged my understanding of what it meant to be a Christian, of the church's stance on homosexuality and on my role as a Christian in the lives of gay people around me. I have changed a lot since then and often shake my head at the narrowness of my understanding of God's love and acceptance.
If this is the same Shanna I want to tell you that I always admired your courage, your strong sense of who you were. I can't imagine it was easy to be gay at our school, I hope I wasn't one of the people who made it more difficult than it had to be, but if I was then please forgive me. Your example played an important role in my life, even if I never spoke to you about it, and for that I am grateful. God Bless

Turquoise said...

I wish we could rate comments, because the one by M'liss is one of the most touching and beautiful ever. Thank you. Made me cry.

dys·func·tion said...

@ Turquoise: Amen. That was an amazing comment by M'liss. Thank you for sharing-so publicly-your apology to a girl you aren't sure if you wronged.