January 15, 2011


Chris, age 5
Reno, Nevada (1986)

Either I wanted to be an American Apparel model at a very early age - or I'm worried about how to feign interest in that baseball bat.

I'm pretty sure I didn't even understand the concept of gay at that age. I did, however, know that no matter how much my Uncles wanted me to get into sports, sports had nothing on Super Heroes and soap operas.

Two things I enjoy to this day.

I came out at 19. Before then it was a slow progression of assuming my attractions were something I would get over. I remember at first, all I wanted was to see was a penis. I figured if I saw a penis my curiosities would subside. Then it was a kiss - just a kiss from a boy and I would be done. 

Well, just like a Pringle or a Kardashian, I learned that one just wouldn't be enough.

It was beyond a relief to finally admit these feelings to a dear friend, and then my supportive Mother. I didn't realize how much it would change the way I viewed the entire world around me. But in every single way, it was for the better.

Chris' first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Macaulay Culkin & Wil Wheaton

1 comment:

Chris Sol said...

Haha! Reminds me of myself around that age (well, gimme 2 years, I'm a 1983 model of the type "Chris" and subtype "Gay". Kinda similar, looking back, loads of signs, I'm not overly camp, but. Never that interested in sports, same curiosities, super heroes was great! (still is! thor and green lantern and x-men! this year christmas comes multiple times!) Also came out at 19, mother eventually turned supportive ;) oh.. and Wil Wheaton in ST: TNG... yeah... how could I NOT have known at that age... lol.

Cheers dude!