Ryan

Ryan, age 5

Jersey Shore (1978)

Saturday Night Fever was still in theaters, and at age 5, it was my clearly favorite movie - as can be seen in my fabulous polyester attire in this picture. My normally dark brown hair was continuously "tinted" blond with that amazing peroxide hair product of yesterday - Sun-In.

"I really love this picture, and I would still rock that outfit!"

Looking back, I always had an 'I don’t give a f*ck what you think about me' attitude. I liked being the weird, different, and always most fabulously stylish kid around.

As I grew older, things just kept pointing towards big homo. I passed on school sports and took private figure skating lessons.

In Cub Scouts, I was the one who painted my pine-wood derby race car with my mothers red glitter nail polish.



I had doctors' notes to get me out of gym class so I could take a second chorus class instead. I took a lesbian to the prom. And in the time passed since this picture was taken 33 years ago, I have seen over 200 Broadway shows.

At this point, it's probably not a phase: I'm a sissy.

My first major man-crush was a big one: John Amos, as James Evans on the 1970’s sitcom “Good Times”. The reason for this was clear: He was a big, hot, sexy actor. They always had him in the freakin’ tightest pair of corduroy pants, and didn’t even try to hide a massive bulge going down one leg. I never missed an episode!

To this day, when I watch those re-runs on TV, I still get excited seeing that big, hot, packin’ daddy.   

Ryan's first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Amos (James Evans on "Good Times")