March 07, 2011


Christopher, age 18 months
Detroit, Michigan (1966)

I didn't come out to myself or anyone else until 7 years ago, just before my 40th birthday. But, I always knew I was different from even a very early age.

"You look fabulous!"
I posted this photo on a blog where I wrote about my coming out, and a friend called and asked me, "Who’s the little girl on your blog…?"

I was totally confused: 'I don’t know what you're talking about, there's no little girl on my blog.' My friend kept on about it until I went and looked, and realized he was talking about me in this pic.

I had to laugh as my friend pointed out to me, "You’ve clearly always been gay. Just look at that picture!" He mentioned that I was playing with a very pink poodle and a kitty cat. And dressed in a handsome/pretty yellow pastel outfit, with shorts that were so short and tight, you can clearly see my little package.

And it made me wonder: Did my mom and dad see this in me at this early age, yet I would take decades to acknowledge it myself?

My parents indulged and embraced my uniqueness. When I wanted a baby doll, I got one. And I loved and cared for him, and even dressed him in the same outfit I'm wearing in the photo. And I still have him. 

In junior high, I took home economics instead of shop. And though my dad wasn't happy about it, he reluctantly bought me the supplies I needed for my first sewing project. By 13, my mom turned the kitchen over to me and encouraged me to pursue my love of cooking as a career. I later became a pastry chef.

Although my journey was also filled with many dark and depressing days, when my being "different" made life difficult, I've come to love this photo of me.

It reminds me that I am as I was meant to be. I was born this way.

Christopher's first, famous-person same sex crush:
James MacArthur (on "Hawaii Five-O ")
JAMES MACARTHUR 8x10 COLOUR PHOTO Retro Desserts: Totally Hip, Updated Classic Desserts from the '40s, '50s, '60s, and '70s Slaves to Fashion: Black Dandyism and the Styling of Black Diasporic Identity Tongues Untied


A. said...

Now that is an adorable picture!

Roxan Sarmiento said...

we were born differently with others