January 17, 2011


Tim, age 12
Ottawa, Canada (1979)

I remember feeling 'different' as a child, but I don't know anyone who didn't feel that way, including adamant heterosexuals, so I'm not sure if that has meaning.

Childhood is inherently a disorienting state, especially when you realize by the time you're about 6 that people are going to treat you like you're stupid for the next 12 to 14 years, even though most of them are in no position to judge on that point.

When I meet people who say they always felt at home and normal, they're the people I nod at, smile politely and run from.

In all of my school photos, I made a point of wearing long sleeve plaid shirts, and refused to ever comb my hair.

My bear/grunge tendencies emerged early, and by high school, I was already becoming bearish. Though genetics meant that I basically didn't have facial hair until I was over 20.

As to when I first felt queer (I've never felt gay) - that's a good question.

I was usually the person who stood up to the 300-pound female bully who bothered my friends - so I got 'fag-lover' a lot,
but not tagged as queer till grade 13.

I started to come out at about 21, and had my first relationship at 31, when I first met someone I was attracted to on all levels (which is an absolute necessity for me - I can't understand the impulse to sleep with someone whose book, record and philosophical 'collection' you haven't perused first - which may be why I've only had TWO boyfriends as an adult).

Tim's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Dan Haggerty ("Grizzly Adams")
Chewbacca ("Star Wars")
Denver Pyle (Uncle Jessie on "Dukes Of Hazzard") 


Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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1 comment:

Tim E Bear said...

Wrong Uncle Jessie. Definitely NOT John Stamos (ick). Denver Pyle as Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazzard. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_JtqnQLlLUwk/TNCgETye1bI/AAAAAAAAImo/lee9ygUihFY/s1600/dukedenver.jpg